Chapter 1




The beginning
Natural medical doctor

The Great Experiences/Ten years of uniterrupted Bliss
A Dream
Vision of the Grail
Explanation/The Trinity
My Inner Woman
To make love and be free…Tantra
The Master
The Ultimate Sutra
Amsterdam, August 1980
Silent Power
Nothing Is/The Cycle

Personal integration: twenty years of trial and error
Jealous Monologues
The Inner Adversary

Kennemerduinen 1990
Japan and Hong Kong
Tribulations/Escape from
the hell of the future
Final tribulations

(“Sermon of the Valley”)
The Descent
The Depth
The Return

Teresa of Avila
A Miracle/PilgrimCare

Looking back
Divine Wrath

Sovereign Living
The 7 Steps


Great Mother Hymn

Being Available
The Green Grass



It is not an easy task to write the foreword of the autobiography of Han Marie Stiekema. His life is so very exceptional, I wonder if even anyone in this world could muster similar experiences. I as an ordinary soul, do not even know myself, how then to know Han Marie? In addition, in daily meetings you don’t see any difference. He is just a normal human being, very open and yet unfathomable, helpful towards others and a good friend. If you don’t ask him anything – meaning questions about the fundamental – he will not show, divulge, or reveal anything. He moves inconspicuous, lives his regular daily life and is therefore hardly known. When asked he leaves a profound impression, though. I have experienced on several occasions that right after he was asked a ‘substantial question’, a transformation immediately takes place within him. It is as if another dimension takes hold of him. The entire room fills with a ‘presence’ that cannot be defined. He ‘speaks from that Something’. His voice is low, his eyes shine, and some see an aura around his head and after initial hesitations often he reaches a state of blissful passion. That often turns over to the audience, which through that resonate with him. The Love he Is can be felt from all directions. Often he brings forth visible emotions to his onlookers. Or people who suddenly with wide open eyes sit up straight in their chairs.

He is however very direct at times. In his talks he’s not there to entertain. As a representative of Truth he can be very confronting. To this end, if you ask me, he has several tricks up his sleeve. He likes to provoke, for example when he is in company of people who have certain expectations. I have experienced, that in a room of two hundred people one half reached a state of exaltation while the other half seemed to be distraught. He for example does not fit in the vibe of ‘us spiritual people together’. Through his personal background he has an infallible insight in ‘where people are’. Something that is not always appreciated, especially of those who think they know. His task is to represent the Truth the Way and the Life to anyone who wants to come into contact with him. On the one hand, people definitely want liberation on the other hand are not willing to pay the price, the price being to give up on an I-oriented, selfish of pseudo-spiritual life. For most spirituality is a ‘hobby’, an interesting extension of existing activities. Something with which to decorate yourself with. However, says Han Marie, “Only when you give yourself up, will you find out.”

It appears to be so that Han Marie spontaneously attracts only those who are genuinely and wholeheartedly in pursuit of the simplicity of the Truth. Sometimes there are but a few. I can’t say he is saddened by that. He widely prefers contact with people of pure intentions, rather than having to unmask improper claims, or to ‘rattle their cage’. That does not mean, he sees himself as being here for a limited few, he is here for everyone. His own Path passed him that awareness. It started with his Great Experiences, that arose ‘straight from heaven’, in pure unpreparedness. In that sense it was an ‘immaculate conception’. His realisations ‘happened’ without any action of his own, without any preconceived intent, ambition or desire. The Innocence only reveals Itself to the innocent! At this point he could have already manifested himself as a teacher. The paradox is that many teachers make themselves known after their ‘first glimpse’ – because they think that they ‘have attained it’ – whilst Han Marie – just by going through the entire enlightenment cycle, including the very rare ‘resurrection from death’ – found himself unable to proclaim the Divine in the world. Not only because out of the Nothing, nothing arises – it is perfect in Itself – but also because he realised that there was something that was left behind. He did then what very few people do, he moved ‘a step back’ as he writes himself ‘to fit the old self within the new Identity’. Even though he could have cultivated his Inner State and leave his biography behind, he freely took it up upon it to embrace his past.

Fifteen long years he went through what everyone goes through who is becoming aware. Namely accepting and integration of pain, sorrow, fear, inferiority feelings, arrogance, insecurity and anger. He was spared nothing in this ordeal. Never did he run or retreat to his inner paradise although he could have done so at any moment. Without resistance he took on the incomprehension, rejection, the ignoring, the ridicule and judgements of his environment onto himself. If he would not be able to take on his own suffering, how else could he bear the load of others was his consideration upon reflection. One-liners such as ‘enlightened masters’ do not know suffering, he firmly rejects. Suffering is there, only you realise that you are not it. It comes into you; it stays for a while and then disappears again. This goes for anyone who has become aware. With Masters this is even more true. Especially by being totally free on a fundamental level can they take on the suffering of the world. Their suffering becomes more rather than less. It is also the reason why Han Marie goes beyond compassion with his fellow human beings. Clear-cut he sees the immoral principles of our society: ‘Having as the inability to Be’. Since human beings and society are one living organism, merely individually becoming whole does not suffice. If you are awakened, then there is a next step to take: ‘the extension’ of your personal Realization to your (close) surroundings.

Ten years of Supreme Bliss and twenty years of the "Dark Night of the Soul" are now behind him. Yet the most wondrous has not been stated yet, something that I have in vain sought with other teachers. The latter usually consider ‘their realisations’ as the highlight of their career. The authority as a teacher is built upon it. This is not the case with Han Marie. From a non-sparing brutal honesty towards himself he had to admit that even though he had ‘his’ Complete Enlightenment he had not reached a state of ‘perfection’ yet. Time after time temptation pressed itself onto him to use his Realisation for personal (ego) motives. It was a terrible inner struggle, one of which can be hardly described in words. He soon found himself with his back against the wall, in this state it dawned on him that ‘Enlightenment could not be the Ultimate’. There had to be ‘something beyond it’ something that could release him from his obsession. It confronted him again with his Great Experiences, and suddenly it came to him. Before dissolving into the Great Light, his existence for a moment was erased by the Cosmic Lightning. So something preceded the Light: Absolute Nothingness! There proved to be a hierarchy in his experience: first Nothingness, then the Light, Ergo: Absolute Nothingness is first, then comes the Light (the Divine, Buddha Nature). Never in his life did he experience such a relief. He was freed from (his identification with) Enlightenment. Free of freedom….thereafter everything fell into place. Absolute Nothingness is similar to the Vacuum, the Cosmic Womb – in archaic times called ‘The Great Mother’ – out of Which everything – including God as well as the world – is born and to Which everything returns.

There after it took a couple of years before ‘he came forth with the Mother’. Surely he lived for over twenty five years with the notion that Enlightenment was the highest attainable. Now he had to quite litterally fall to his knees, which on the one hand was the reason for constant joy and gratitude, but on the other hand felt unaccustomed. Not being the final authority anymore demands a thorough transformation. Luckily he had experienced the failure of ‘Self-realisation’ in a most painful manner. This for the first time in his life brought sincere moments of humility for the unfathomable Deep Mystery of the Mother. Knowing that this – surrender – would be the hardest for him – the Mother sent him assistance. Metrically he met Teresa van Avila. Immediately he realised the range of this meeting. He experienced so many interfaces with her, that it could be nothing else but this ‘by providence intended’. She guides him along his path of devotion, surrender and altruism. Thanks to her he feels strengthened on his mission to bring forth into the world.

He is ultimately the one who ‘returned from Exile’ to guide people on their ‘journey Home’. He saved the Treasure – the legacy of everyone – that was lost because of your addiction to yourself. Exclusively pursuing your ‘personal enlightenment’, whilst simultaneously destroying the earth, cannot be permitted to continue any longer. The ‘Being yourSelf in solidarity’, unity with the vertical and the horizontal, is what it is about. Together establishing the ‘Kingdom of Heaven on earth’, taking initiative is most important aspect of his mission, nothing extraordinary, if you come to think of it as the responsibility of everybody to participate in saving the earth. What then to call him? The German word ‘Hoffnungsträger’ (hopeful) would suit him nicely. With the publication of his writings he recently made himself known. He is available. It is now up to us to discover him, ourselves and the Mother, to find our inner Realization and to expand that into our environment. He himself says: ‘to find resonance with the Most Fundamental, is the most precious gift of our existence.”

Peter Cornwall, Los Angeles, California


© 1999 Copyright by Han M. Stiekema. All rights reserved.
Last update:07/24/13