SPIRITUAL CONFESSIONS
After 33 years

Dear Friends,

Memory dissolves into Space. I am child again, playing with the trees, the wind, the earth and the clouds. Since then, Nothing has changed

While walking I am spontaneously stopping. The Clarity is everywhere. Nature comes to Me like a lover. I kneel down and kiss the grass

I have no age, I forgot everything that happened in my life. Non-existence connects me with everything around me. Being Nothing I Am everything

Aliveness of the mind. It is part of life until Real Life emerges. Then there is only One Space and everything else is its content

I have always known about the Treasure inside. The "role" of custodian is deeply engrained within me. No surprise I became the Custodian of the Grail

I died as a me and was reborn as a Me. The big Me includes all the small me's of all times and places. I Am All-Inclusive

Emptiness contains all forms. Being THAT I Am part of the Divine play. The One Face expresses Itself in the many. Who are you?

While you are going to the Light I Am It. So why searching? What is closest is always overseen. First of all your own inner Being

When going within I unite with my inner Light. This in turn embraces the whole of existence. Spiritual Realization is identical with loving the world

When you have everything you end up with being tired of it. When you are Empty, you are continuously overflowing with new life. Joy, gratitude

My life was prophesized. I am a prisoner of the Eternal. I find my freedom in obeying the Ultimate. Its last wish is that I should come to the open

Knowing my reluctance the "Vision of the Grail" was revealed to me. Its message to mankind: "Strive for Enlightenment, re-structure your life and serve others"

The Grail is the "Vessel of Abundance", in former times called "Cosmic Womb" or "Great Mother".  It is the symbol of Eternal Renewal and Regeneration

So, don't search for the Grail anymore. It is here, now, everywhere. It has appeared to me in a Vision. If you don't believe it, come to me and you will be convinced

Why expressing mySelf in such a direct way? After (very) long hesitation, e.g. trial and error I came to the following conclusion

People don't know themselves. So, how could they know Me? I have been waiting an entire life "for becoming recognized". Stupid, because the only one who can tell about Me is Me

Buddha said "I Am the Awakened One", Jesus said "I Am sent by the Father". All Teachers had their way of telling the people about their inner state of Being. If you don't tell, nobody will ever understand

Yes, I Am the One you have been waiting for. I Am You, and You are Me. Actually, you are waiting for the One in yourself. The point is, if I could find it, you also can

The deepest Love is recognition of Sameness. Once found everything is simply there. Love is celebrating Unity which is there from Eternity. No need "to do something with it". This flower cannot be picked

I continue where other Teachers have ended. In my Teaching all Traditions come together. It sounds wierd in my own ears, so I am not surprised that you take it with a pinch of salt. It may wake you up!

By the way: everyone is a "chosen one". Everyone is chosen to find and share the Best within. There are no "chosen ones" apart from all other chosen ones. Only on that basis I dare to reveal my Treasures

When I Am my Big Self, my small self disappears. When THAT is there, I am nothing. That's why nobody can ever claim anything spiritual for him or herself

Not surprisingly thus, that "my" Threefold Realization" (1977) came "totally out of the blue", not in any way anticipated. Innocence "conceived" by innocence

Suddenly, the Lightning struck my head and for a Moment my entire Being was wiped out. A Moment of deepest Darkness, with no memories left

Immediately after I dissolved into the Eternal Light. I Am THAT. My existence was lifted up to the Divine Plane, including all and everything. Sharing the Joy of the Cosmos....

This lasted the whole day. That same night I suddenly woke up, finding myself in the middle of an Ocean of Horror, within a split second stripping off all faculties of mind and body

It is the descent into the Underworld, in which I ended up naked. With only my clear awareness left. Every second it could also disappear, keeping it was the greatest ordeal in my life

It lasted all night until the morning. The stronger my clarity, the weaker the Angst. Until the latter finally subsided. I immediately understood, that this was the spiritual meaning of "Death and Resurrection"

Much later I realized the impact of it. I had been in the Cosmic Womb,  exposed to Her Cosmic Forces of "Destruction and Creation". It is the deepest possible Experience in life

Nothingness is the Mother of God and the universe, with both continuously returning to their Orgin. This Revelation is the beginning of A New Era

All Power lies in the Origin. All human potentiality is contained in one egg.  Therefore, in order to become regenerated we will not do with less (anymore), but go back to the Eternal Beginning: the Cosmic ("Ur") Mother

Although knowing that this would become my Mission, I needed around 33 years to come to the open. Partly because I didn't want to descend from my paradise, partly because there was still work to do

First of all the Mother let me enjoy life to the fullest. For 10 years I lived in uninterrupted Bliss, including several other Great Experiences. Light,  Nature, Love and Poetry characterized my life

Then She withdrew Her Grace from me. Giving me the opportunity of still integrating those (stubborn) old parts that were not totally dissolved. It is not all given, you have to do your own homework as well

The stronger the ego, the longer it takes. With me it lasted more than 20 years (....) to integrate everything into the Whole. You can have a sense of the obstacles I still had at that time..... It is really tough work

It reveals another Truth. Even after Enlightenment the ego returns. Teachers who claim that "once Enlightened you are forever ego-less" are (deliberately) misleading you

Hence, the need of ongoing integration. Not only "before Enlightenment" but even more "after". Because if there are unprocessed emotional contents in your inner Space....

Through the free flowing energy in you, not only your inner Light is nurtured, but also your dark sides is. Suppressed emotions like pain, fear and anger will grow accordingly

Until the blown-up complexes reach a limit, while suddenly taking over your entire Being. "Love and harmony" suddenly turn into bitterness, self-pity, arrogance or hatred

Beware of this! Go back to zero and work on yourself like everybody else does. I did it for twenty years. Don't feel too "advanced" to practice awareness, acceptance and inclusivity. It makes you humble

Moreover, the Light appears to be not the Ultimate. Bottomless Darkness, the Cosmic Womb is. Every tradition knows: Light comes out of Darkness. "God" is not the "Father" but the Son

The result was giving up any authority of my own. The highest possible "status" is NOT that of an Enlightened One, but as "Son/Lover" to the Mother. It is to be a servant to the Whole

This is the Tradition of "Green Men & Wise Women", originally embodying the regenerative Power of Nature, nowadays representing the key spiritual process of continuously giving up your ego, while being reborn as a True Self

It is exactly what is needed nowadays. An ego that cannot return to its Origin is constantly blowing itself up. So, either the ego "dies" or the earth will die.... On the other hand, once your True Self is born, you become part of Mother's Web of Life, once again

So far so good

Reading my own writings about "death and rebirth" as the key spiritual practice, I realized with a shock that I myself had forgotten to make it the foundation of my daily practice

Too "self-confidently" I assumed that my original Great Experience would automatically guarantee my ongoing inner renewal. However, slowly goal-oriented thinking took over

Spiritual life and linear thinking are opposites. The former moves from continuously dissolving into the Divine, while subsequently returning to "lower" levels of consciousness

It's like a flower opening and closing itself. This kind of life is "vertical", while worldly life is "horizontal". The latter is ruled by the flow of thoughts, running from the past to the future and vice versa

Too long I was fascinated by my projects, forgetting my key practice. I deeply feel what I missed. Now that I finished my writings I can return to it. My core practice is my real teaching and vice versa

Nowadays I feel great peace within, knowing that I am serving the Truth. This Truth will help us overcome the global crisis. Without it the changes will be half-hearted, too shallow and too late

So come to the Mother ("Come ye all unto Me, I Am the All-Embracing One"), you are already living in Her Womb, after all (...), don't deny your roots anymore, for Her Emptiness is the only realm that can take your ego away

In Her Womb you can feel safe. Safe enough to "die". Constantly giving your ego back to Her Bottomlessness, simultaneously enjoying the birth of your inner Light, your True Self

Your existential fear of Nothingness will disappear overnight, giving you a freedom you never dared to dream of. The result: "To Be yourSelf in Connectedness"

Deeply within you are Divine. By restoring the unity with "Heaven, earth and the (new) community", your Essence will be constantly incarnating. So that we all can say: "Behold, I make everything new!"

Restoring the "Cosmic Law" means, that men (and masculine women) emphasize "death and rebirth", while women (and feminine men) represent the substance of life, corresponding with Mother's Web of Life

I have a Vision: women and men will be cooperating in a new way, one that is rooted in "Heaven, earth and the (new) community", thus contributing to A New Step in Evolution

If in this life the seeds can be sown, I will be a happy and grateful man. However, it is not in my hands. It all depends on the earth being fruitful 

Mother's Blessings to you all