3. MY CHILDHOOD
Natural medical doctor 4. ON THE "OTHER SIDE"
The Great Experiences/Ten years of uniterrupted Bliss
Vision of the Grail
My Inner Woman
To make love and be free Tantra
REVELATION OF THE GREAT MOTHER
THE GREAT LIGHT
THE GREAT DEATH/THE UNDERWORLD
The Ultimate Sutra
Amsterdam, August 1980
Nothing Is/The Cycle
5. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
(Sermon of the Valley)
The Return 7. TERESA OF AVILA
Teresa of Avila
A Miracle/PilgrimCare 8. MY LIFE'S MYTH
9. LAMENT FOR THE PLANET
10. THE GREAT MOTHER
Great Mother Hymn 12. EPILOGUE
The Green Grass ABOUT THIS
BOOK 1. PREFACE 2. INTRODUCTION 3. MY CHILDHOOD
Natural medical doctor
THE "OTHER SIDE"
6. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
7. THE SACRED VALLEY
9. HEALING THE PLANET
10. THE GREAT MOTHER
11. TURN ON
Great Mother Hymn
| My life: the old demolished to its
from the Essence rebuild anew
Already for thirty six years I have been trying to formulate that which cannot be formulated. Its my praise song to Existence. Life is at the centre of this, not I. What happened to me was impersonal. In all my Great Experiences described here, myself (ego) seized to exist. The I and Enlightenment are excluding each other. If you are rooted in your I, Enlightenment is on the background, has It taken a hold of you, then the I is simply no longer there. Í as the daily identity - am enlightened is therefore fundamentally impossible. The Light on the other hand is the fundamental carrier of the entire universe. It is invisibly omnipresent, it is the Essence of all and everything. When you disappear into it you do not see the Light, you are It. It is therefore not an experience, but a jump in identity. An experience is something that happens to you, in which the I undergoes, but fundamentally keeps the same identity. The core of Enlightenment is not that the existing I was given something grand, but rather that this existing I suddenly dissolved in the Supernatural Dimension of Being. The I-self has gone through a fundamental transformation. You realise you are not the small self, but something that transcends that greatly. This is not mysticism. Mysticism speaks about the temporary unification with the Divine. It sees enlightenment as an experience, not as Realisation. It doesnt accept the jump in identity. There rests a taboo on the fact that we in our deepest nature are Divine. Hence, mysticism is making you dependent of the experience and can degenerate into spiritual materialism.
Most people think that spirituality is an expansion of mind. Because they dont know what mind is, they think that Mind is extended from their daily experiences. Spirituality and personal development are so confusingly and wrongly used. While the first is the surrendering of the small self, the second aims at the expansion of the existent experiential world. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as the two dimensions are not intentionally or unintentionally mixed up, which in present days sadly is the case. For starters the words used are very overlapping, to such an extent that already in initial orientation confusion arises. Terms such as True Self expansion of Consciousness, meditation, Love, the spiritual path, en many others can be interpreted in multiple manners. Is the True Self an extension of yourself a visualized creation or a dimension of the Other Side, that you only realize after giving up your already existing self, that is what is meant here. F.i. being the inner observer of yourself implicates a distance, a jump you have made in consciousness. There is a discontinuing transition to a different dimension within yourSelf. Becoming aware, therefore, is not an added value, expansion of the existing, but rather a realization, a step backwards in the vertical dimension. Whilst the truth behind the words is diametrical opposite, the terminology is suggesting a false jumble. Everybody uses the same terminology, but in fact is talking about fundamentally different realities. Eventually it comes to the surface that it entails two different life attitudes: the way of (Non-)Being and that of having and wanting. Spirituality as the Truth or as imagination is what it is about.
Obviously, you can only drop your I, if you first have one. It is of
great importance for two reasons. It quite frequently happens that I-weak people have a
transcendent experience. I remember as if yesterday, I was called to a young man, who was
caught in an acute psychosis. He was desperate of fear that permanently was in and around
him. He was caught in a void of indescribable desperation. The case here was that he had
been intensely involving himself in kundalini techniques. The first principle
on the Path is therefore the care for a reasonably integrated I-structure. This means in
most cases that first you have to be involved with your own wholeness, with I-integration.
It emphasizes the use of personal development and therapy as the first steps to further
awareness. Tragic though is, that currently people when they are in growth
processes forget, that growth is not the goal in itself. On the other
hand, ultimate happiness of life exists in that, at a certain point you will be able to
drop your I. On that dune top everything fell from me, with him I forgot
myself entirely, "in my meditation there was only sitting. It is the
criteria for true spirituality: when your true inner renews, the old will fall away.
* Intended here is the God as it is shown to us in Christianity. The true God transcends all definitions. Thats why for example saying such as the God of the Bible are in contradiction with itself. In the great Mother tradition whereby the Light is born from the Absolute Nothingness the Divine is the Light Body of the Great Mother. See Chapter 11 Turn On.
Against this background our own existential crisis finds new meaning. We live in a time, where the emphasis lies on returning to the Origin. The Nothingness now appears in an entirely new context, instead of inspiring fear and fright, it is the Vacuum, in which we spent and worn out as we are return to be born anew. Cooperating with the Cosmic Law testifies to wisdom. Seeing salvation in need, frees us from our suffocation. And be honest: have we not ourselves contributed to the current crisis? In our inability to BE we have sought our refuge in "having". By gaining more and more, we thought we could draw luck towards us. Having, however, can never replace our thirst for Self, Truth, Love and Solidarity. That is why it grew to an obsession. Now we are being confronted by rude reality: our greed for having that threatens our existence on all levels. We are moving towards suffocating in our own accumulations. The Void - the Cosmic Vacuum does not tolerate (extreme) piling. These surely disturb the dynamic balance between destruction, permanence and renewal. Since Great Mothers care in the first place goes out to balance She has given a sign to destruction. Instead of mourning, the person with insight understands the invitation of the Mother.
If we are honest, we must acknowledge our self-centeredness and admit that we are hopelessly entangled in a lifestyle, that only making us unhappier. Burn-out seen this way of ourselves and our culture is nothing more than the fiasco of our own self-centeredness. This offers us the opportunity to find our True Self and our original life purpose. Praise the Mother! By surrendering to Her Vacuum The Cosmic Nothingness we can discard the old our ego letting it die and be born anew. That which first formed our biggest fear our fear for Nothingness now appears to be our salvation. No man can die for us to let us be reborn again ( ), only we, ourselves can. Trust in the Primordial Mother the Fountain of Regeneration makes this possible. Isnt life wondrous? And as you no doubt have understood: I was granted the unbelievable Grace to have gone before you in this process. The account of this process is written down in this book. May I hereby invite you?
© 1999 Copyright by Han M. Stiekema. All rights reserved.