The Original Great Mother Tradition
Mother Worship

MatriTalks 35

Dedicated to John Eijlers, who died on September 17, 2004

Questions & Answers
Han Marie Stiekema Sermes

Q. Thick volumes have been written about actually dying. What is your experience with it?

A. I have never understood, why people spend so much time on it. Contrary to life, death is a process, that is doing the work for you. You only have to go with the flow.

Q. You yourself claim to have experienced the Great Death. Is that the Source, from which you are able to elaborate on it?

A. Yes, the Mother "took" me three times (laughter). First of all, She destroyed my entire Being; then She let me dissolve into Her Light Body, whereafter She again stripped me of all my qualities. It is the cause of the fact, that ever since I know, that She - the Vacuum - is the Ultimate Reality.

Q. Considering physical death, what do you think what is actually happening?

A. It is a question, that occupies the mind of almost all people. And to be honest, before I fully realized the significance of the Vacuum, my insight still used to be limited.

Q. What do you mean?

A.  If you consider the Divine (Consciousness, Eternal Light, God, Being) to be the Absolute - the Unchanging - as most religions do, how do you explain the "withdrawal" of Consciousness? Obviously, something that doesn't change cannot "withdraw". The latter is commonly accepted though. Clearly, this is a paradox.

Q. As you taught me, paradoxes are indicating, that you enter the Realm of the Unexplainable. So, how do you explain?

A. You are right. As a "guardian of Transcendental Mysteries" I should be reluctant to reveal too much (laughter). However, it was the Mother, Who explicitly ordered me to share my life, insights and love with every sincere seeker. And, to refuse orders from your Commander In Chief is risking Court Marshall (laughter).     

Q. Your joking really reveals much. Aren't you afraid of death anymore?

A. No. But I still can be afraid of dark and narrow nightly streets (laughter).

Q. So, how would you elaborate?

A. First of all, there is insight. Without the Vacuum, insight would be very limited. It is the Realm beyond Consciousness, the latter being the Light Body of the Mother. Like everything else, Her Light Body is continuously dying in Her, while being reborn in the selfsame Eternal Moment. In Her Highest Realm there is no time. If something dies and is reborn without any time in between, the result is Eternity, the Absolute, the Unchanging. Do you get this? No? Well, if something is disappearing, but is coming back at the same time, then it seems, as if nothing has happened. It is hiding the fact, that the underlying process is actually subjected to "death and rebirth" all the time.

Q. Please, go on.

A. Like I said above, if the Ultimate Reality would be the Unchanging, then there wouldn't be "withdrawal", hence, there wouldn't be death. The Vacuum changes this all. It is related to the characteristics of the Vacuum, as we know it. A common vacuum is a physical condition, in which the inner pressure is (almost) zero. The Cosmic Womb exceeds the physical condition, though. This Realm is constantly drawing its content in, while at the same time throwing it out. This is not only true with regard to the physical universe, but also to the Divine. The throwing out is reflected in the various stages of Consciousness: from Full Enlightenment to awareness to the ego. The turning point is characterized by the distance creation has toward its Origin. If a certain limit is reached, the movement changes from "manifestation" toward "dissolution". The latter being Home Coming, something we call death.

Q. Thus, the forces beyond the Divine (God) are determining "death and rebirth?"

A. The All-mighty Mother is determining it, yes.

Q. How is this withdrawal reflected in the actual death process?

A. With the memory of the death of my beloved friend fresh in my mind, I certainly would like to elaborate on it. In short, death is the dissolution into the Ultimate. It is moving from the periphery to the center, reflecting the withdrawal of Consciousness. This withdrawal goes in steps. With every new step, it will withdraw to a deeper layer. Every time a deeper layer is reached, the corresponding physical - body/mind - part will be dropped off. Thus, if Consciousness retires to its position of awareness, the most superficial layer, that of thinking will disappear. Subsequently, if Consciousness draws back to its position of Conscious Presence, emotions will disappear. Everything becomes very calm and peaceful. Next is the drawing back of Consciousness to its Omni-Presence. In that case it will exceed the limits of the body, hence the identification with the body will be broken. Therefore, the saying "the body is being dropped off". This condition is equal to Satori, being limitless and timeless Liberation*.

* See for overview: Book of the Dead

Q. Does this indeed all goes by itself, with no effort on our part?

A. Yes, you "sit in the chair" and watch (laughter). It is really a luxury position. The only thing you can do is hindering the process.      

Q. Thus, the fear comes from hindering it, not from the actual process?

A. In death everybody will become Enlightened. (Hence, the ones who "want to have it now", are simply impatient)(laughter). Moreover, they will become it, regardless their conduct in life. So, even Adolf Hitler (and Mr. Bush) are - will "be - in Heaven" respectively. It is the true meaning of "God (the Mother) is Love".

Q. The Truth is always disturbing. But I think I interrupted you there. Could you finish your lecture about the stages of dying first, before you proceed?

A. First I will elaborate on the "sensations" of the death process. They can be considered as "flare up" symptoms (laughter). With every deeper layer, ecstasy becomes less and less though. Until the state of ultimate tranquillity is reached. Even if the body still offers resistance, as is sometimes the case, Consciousness within is utterly at peace, not affected by the process anymore. Eventually, Satori will turn into Full Enlightenment. It is the Ultimate Triumph of Dying. This Eternal Moment is the Gate to Nothingness. The Mother is waiting for you there.

Q. In order to become destroyed?

A. This is the Realm of Mystery. What I can say is, that the last stage of Consciousness is one of Utter Transparency. It is the Ultimate Thing that can be realized HereNow. However, actual death brings you beyond this stage. In fact, nobody knows what happens thereafter. If Transparency is the Ultimate Consciousness, then the next step can only be that of Utter Dissolution e.g. Forgetfulness. Therefore, we will never be able to know, "what the Mother is subsequently doing to us". One thing is certain though. Through Her Law of the Universe, death will be turned into rebirth*.

* To be elaborated in a follow-up about reincarnation.

Q. What moves me is, that on the one hand you are giving explanations, while at the same time cherishing the Mystery of the Mother. To me it shows your unrivalled insight in life.

A.  Life is unsurpassed. You have to only becoming a part of it.

Q. Last but not least, we have to talk about hindrances. Isn't it a fact of life, that quite some people don't have an all-together smooth dying process, like the picture you have been drawing above?

A. Part of the dying process, inevitably is being confronted by "unprocessed contents of the mind". This can be e.g. ego-addiction, parts of the self that has been denied, rejected or excluded and fixed patterns (conditionings), that have never been integrated during life. Being confronted by them isn't often easy. They have been suppressed for a life time, after all. Thus, you might be still confronted with pain, fear and anger. Additionally, you may realize, that you have never really lived before. A moment of intense sadness, the realization, that your life was actually in vain - compared to the bliss you experience in the dying process - may indeed give you moments of cold shivering. The more you are going to resist these (very) unpleasant emotions though, the more you will suffer. The "trouble is", that because you have entered a timeless Realm already, your suffering also is (seems) timeless. While you are suffering from a real ordeal, in "actual time" this confrontation (mostly) lasts only a few minutes, though. A very comforting insight indeed!

Q. Is this what Christians used to call "purgatory?"

A. That's right.

Q. Obviously, the solution here is to trust the Mother and "relax?"

A. In some (rare) cases, preparation for death seems to be very useful indeed. It should include promoting trust in the Mother, insight in the process, the possibilities of being confronted and subsequent recommendations. The latter, which consist of "watching and letting go". In most of the "cases" no preparation is needed though*. Death itself is the guide.

* Exception to this rule is the (very) beneficial effect of fasting on the death process. Naturally, dying persons don't like to eat anymore. Hence, if eating is stopped at an early enough time, death may become much more easy, bright and self-surrendering. I personally saw the mystical experiences during the dying greatly enhanced. PS. For the same reason fasting could be an "instrument" in euthanasia.

Q. What are the similarities between actual death and "near death?"

A. The word already expresses it: "near death". "Near" death isn't part of the actual dying process. It is the opposite: the attempt to escape from it. Under extreme stress the mind dissociates from the body. Being liberated, it becomes very much "alive". Much more alert, alive and intact compared to daily life. It shows, that it uses all its energy to survive as a separate entity. As such it is able to feel a heightened sense of reality. As an entity freed of the "bondage of the flesh" it experiences a freedom, that wasn't known hitherto. As such it may travel in Space, reaching out to the stars.

Q. Well, isn't to be free like that "close to Heaven?".

A. It might seem like that. Real dying is very different though. Contrary to "near death", the mind disappears at a very early stage of the process. It becomes very weak and is then "dropped off". Instead of becoming "a flying object in Space", you become Space Itself. In the real dying process you become Space, in which the content - the mind, a separate entity - is dissolving. Being a separate entity on the other hand, like in "near death" - however blissful - doesn't correspond to greater life. It is an artifact. "Near death" may turn into real death though. It is the "point of no return", which decides, if a person enters the actual dying process, yes or no.

Q.  If so, people will not be able to report on it, anymore.

A. All accounts are from people, who decided to "come back", though. This all wouldn't have become a problem, if not people started to draw conclusions from their experiences, projecting it into the real dying process. It is giving a totally wrong picture of the latter. Especially the idea, that "after death" the mind, together with its functions like thinking, imagining, feeling and experiencing as key characteristics, is the center of consciousness, being itself the spiritual realm so to speak, this being confirmed by all kinds of fantastic adventures (angels, Jesus, deceased family members, energies, stars etc.), is giving rise to much misunderstanding. It serves the interests of those, who advocate an extreme individualism, those who do not consider the Ultimate, but themselves - me, me, me - to be the "center of the universe". The reality is different though. Therefore, you better consider death and "near death" as separate phenomena, each in their own right.

Q. My curiosity is logarithmically growing at the moment. Forgive me, if I would like to know more about another related topic, that of reincarnation.

A. I think it hasn't grown enough. Therefore, I will postpone it until later time (laughter).

Die before you die.

It will bring you A New Life!

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