"Vision of A New Culture"
The Great Learning

Q & A 7
Meeting friends

The first question: HMS, for quite some time I feel so restless and also depressed, I hardly can find inner peace. What could it be?

1. Dear friend. Whatever happens to your life, you always start with acknowledging the fact. Thus say to yourself: „ yes, I am restless". Normally you resist unwelcome feelings. It prevents you from feeling the pain behind it. By doing so you constantly reject parts of yourself, parts which are not allowed to belong to the whole. A deep non-acceptance lies at the bottom of it. The everyday suppressing of one part by the other is a very energy consuming activity indeed! By acknowledging it though, you stop the fighting. It is a big relief already. In order to know what it is, you have to allow it to enter your deeper layers. Relaxation will be necessary. In this openness you keep feeling the emotion, while simultaneously watching it. You are feeling your body in contact with the ground, while asking your question to your Self, to „its centre" somewhere in your pelvis. It is important, that your head is not interfering. A quick answer by your mind, will be almost always wrong. Just relax, feel your bodily roots with the ground and wait. Enjoy the state of not-knowing. Then, because you were not expecting - hindering! - it, an answer will - suddenly - occur to you. And it will be a surprise. If the answer is right, there will be always a deep recognition. And this will be the proof: together with the answer, the body will experience a deep relief. A sigh, a shivering, some shaking, an outburst of joy or tears will be there. Whatever the answer, a sweet gratitude will always take possession of you.

The second question: HMS, for many years I am practising Vipassana meditation. Sometimes it is really a great experience, in which I forget myself completely. However, no matter how sincere my daily practice is, the ego simply doesn’t seem to disappear. To the contrary, it seems to become even stronger.

2. Dear friend. Yes, you are right, by trying to get rid of the ego, it only will become stronger. You are like a Don Quichote fighting the windmills. Your practice is that of „shadow-boxing". First you create „something", which you call „ego" and then subsequently you start fighting against it. Your practice is a vicious circle. The solution I give you is this: If you don’t give it a name, if you don’t put a label on it, it simply doesn’t exist! So from now on you don’t know what „ego" is, you have never heard of it, you will never use the word anymore and you will certainly be fine. Okay? Try it.

The third question: You often talk about „feeling awareness". Could you explain what it is?

3. Beloved Hillary. In order to jump from your periphery to your Center you need your body. Your body is the „vehicle of the spirit". After all, you need to relax and that is only possible in your body. Relaxation creates inner space. By becoming aware of it, you are your Center, the Here and Now. As you know the HereNow is the only reality. Living in the HereNow you are present, alert, aware. Once in your Center you are free. You are watching your periphery, while a short while ago you were still caught by it. From the timeless inner dimension you watch your thinking, your memories and your dreams. This „jumping" is almost always made via the body though. Only by consciously feeling the body, the power of identification with your periphery will become weaker. Haven’t you noticed? Once your awareness opens itself to bodily feeling, the thinking disappears. Hence feeling and watching have a positive feedback towards each other. The greater your clarity of mind, the more intense the bodily sensations and viceversa. This is called „feeling awareness". Awareness and energy grow together, you first have to become the body in order to transcend it. Without a manipulative attitude though. You simply enjoy the body as a part of yourself and all the miracles will spontaneously come out of it. Just feel your feet in contact with the floor. Watch and feel. Together with the increasing intensity of the sensations your alertness will grow accordingly. And don’t concentrate! Concentration is by will-power, it will make you tired. No, just open yourself up to the sensations which are there already. Don’t go out, but let them come to you, as you stay where you are, in your center. The miracle is this: the more you are enjoying your energies, the more your inner Being will expand. Without doing any effort. You are a flower inhaling the flavors of life and hence opening yourself up more. I know you are going to master it easily.

The fourth question: Dear HMS, you call people who have come home „Originals". Could you explain to me what it means?
4. Dear friend. If you really understand, that there is no need to go anywhere, that there is no path to go, then you simply relax into What-You-Are-Already. Then you will discover, that in the HereNow your roots are twofold: your spirit (awareness) having its home in the Ultimate and your body being part of the earth. If then you experience this twofold Origin to be the gate to your true Nature, when the dual melts into Oneness, when you have discovered and Realized this fundamental Truth, then you will be an Original.

The fifth question: HMS, How would you define yourself?

5. To be Nothing is to be everything. Nothing Is. So you are Emptiness including every form, every definition. Rather than denying your small self, you give it the space it needs. Loving yourself unconditionally, that is where it all about. You let it play its play, while remaining the watcher. The small self is your toy, the dog taken out, that with which you enjoy yourself. By accepting every part of yourself, life will be totally relaxed, enjoyable and full of surprises. Everything is leela - the play of God - nothing should be taken seriously. The definitions my small self likes most are: envoy of the Great Mother, God’s fool (see picture above), servant of Heaven and earth, lover of the goddess and "facilitator of the European emperor/empress".*
*) See: http://welcome.to/EIAR/   (In Dutch)

The sixth question: What can you do if confronted with the fear of death?

6. Beloved friend. Usually the fear of death is the fear of the idea of death. Even just the word can create tremendous fear in you. In that case your fear comes from your emotional, the imaginative and mental „bodies", the mind. Some traumatic event, some bad words, some threat must have been there in the past. Or you have really approached the experience of death in some way or another. In that case the fear of loosing yourself will be the main factor, the fear of dissolving into the Great Unknown. In both cases the cause of your fear is the same: the fear of not being there. It is originating from the clinging to your small self, the only dimension you know. In fact, you don’t know who you really are. If you knew it, then the fear of death would be non-existent. Once you experience your true Self your fear will be over, for in your innermost Being the small self will disappear in a most natural way. The paradox is this: once you die into your Self you LIVE. Once you have discovered, that your small life is death and death is Life, then you will never be the same anymore. You have overcome death by becoming It.

The seventh question: HMS, why is it that I am not happy?

7. Beloved friend. Every time you hear yourself asking „why", notice that you do it from the position of the outsider. You are separated from happiness, hence your question. Any „why" question indicates, that you persist in your alienation from life. Haven’t you experienced? Once totally absorbed by dancing, making love, cycling, working or gardening, never any „why" question will come up. On the contrary: if while dancing you would ask yourself „why I am dancing here", the joy of dancing will be over immediately. Therefore, the only answer I have for you is this: every time a „why" question comes up, you realize to have lost contact with reality. Hence restoring contact with your Self, your body and its direct surroundings, will be your most important step to happiness.

The eighth question: I have been to many workshops, trainings etc. I know how to visualize, do affirmations, release my tensions and still I am feeling empty. Could you help me?

8. Dear Mark. I know of your desperate efforts for Self-realization. However, by manipulating the mind, you will probably never ever experience it. You have to let go of every ambition whatsoever. The very effort is blocking the opening to your inner Self.

The ninth question: HMS, teachers say that everything is „within". However, my greatest joy is raising my children and working in the garden. Is there something wrong with me?

9. Beloved Anne. Everything within is illusionary, unless you come to your real Self. Everything without is real, until you come to Self-realization. Take everything as-it-is, enjoy life as it presents itself to you. Be grateful. That you may become Life Itself, for that may help you Life.

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Last revising: 08/15/04